Can I get some cocaine with my Red Bull?

Apparently so. Red Bull, one of the most popular tonics to the younger crowd, seems to have a sister drink called Red Bull Simply Cola. And on May 19 it was banned in several German states due to the finding of .4 micrograms of cocaine in every can! Now, mind you, a microgram is one millionth of a gram. So .4 micrograms is no bigger than a grain of sand and couldn't even make a gnat's nose numb. "We have a zero-tolerance policy toward food products containing narcotic traces" a spokesperson for the German killjoys said. And Red Bull, based in Salzburg, Austria, released a statement saying "decocainized coca leaf extracts" found in their Simply Cola product are permitted under U.S. and European drug laws. Really?

All this is rather surreal. For it was exactly 100 years ago that Coca-Cola was fending off accusations from the FDA that the original (and true classic) Coke contained trace amounts of cocaine. It was quite the battle, and the origination of marketing Coke's formula as a secret. Coke refused to divulge the formula, which only seemed natural as it did contain trace amounts of cocaine, telling the FDA to "trust us." The FDA folded and the formula remained a secret - though Coca-Cola promised that, though not admitting there was any cocaine in Coca-Cola, all future Coke would be cocaine-free. Imagine had the FDA not been so tight-assed...

Red Bull Simply Cola is still available here in the United States. But there is little doubt that situation will last long - so stock up!